Don't Judge others. Love others.

If you really think about it, we make judgments every day.  

Sadly enough, I've judged others negatively based on the way they carry on a conversation with me, whether they look me in the eye or not, whether or not they respond to my text or Facebook message, and how quickly they do it.

I've judged people that don't smile at me (when I think they should have) or don't greet me the way I think they should greet me. I've judged people based on the comments they make, and the tone in their voice.  I've judged people when they didn't included me in their lives (when I think they should have). I've judged people who joined sororities or country clubs.  I've been a hater. And a lot of the judgment was due to my poor self-image and my jealousy you'd never have heard me own up to. 

Until now. I'm not proud of any of this. But I can be transparent with you today because there is victory where there once wasn't. I promise you. I'm not a hater anymore. 

Before today, when I became a Christian, for a while there, I became more judgmental. I thought I had a reason to judge... All in the name of Jesus.  

They drink... can't hang out with them!  Jesus wouldn't approve!  They swear.  My holy ears can't listen to that!  Jesus wouldn't approve!  They spend their money foolishly... They need to tithe!  Jesus wouldn't approve of their purchases!  Those people have too much fun...they spend all their time on the golf course...They should volunteer more! They should go to church instead of the golf course on Sunday morning. Jesus wouldn't approve of their use of the time God gave them!

Wrong. So Wrong. 

Seriously, how wrong was I? Who am I to judge anyone?  John Bradford's quote... "There but for the grace of God, go I", sums it up for me.  In my defense I thought I was being an ambassador of Christ by following a list of "do's" and "don'ts". 

I missed it. Totally missed the point. 

Because by doing this, I alienated people, judged people, and neglected to love others where they were at and show them the grace God had shown me.  He's teaching me lately to "not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged..." (Matthew 7:1 NIV).  Instead of judging someone based on first impressions or outward appearance, I'm now trying to really get to know people, and meet them where they're at instead of jumping to my own conclusions. 

I've came to the realization recently that it's easy for me to make judgments about people and situations when I'm taken out of my comfort zone. It's my human nature to make judgments on the unfamiliar. 

So now, instead of judging and jumping to my own conclusion, I try to remember:

Maybe she doesn't smile at me, because she thinks I won't smile back.  Maybe that girl's really shy, and doesn't really know what to say to me, so it's hard for her to look me in the eye. Maybe she was really busy with her own family and work, so she couldn't reply to my text or Facebook message quickly. Maybe she didn't even get it!  Maybe that girl snapped at me a little but it wasn't necessarily directed towards me...she may have just had a really tough day or received some bad news.

I can have faith, I can give to the poor. I can volunteer a ton.  I can tithe. I can pray unceasingly. I can fast. But without love, I am an ineffective Christian.  

When I judge, I am not practicing love. 

"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always "me first", Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end" (1 Corinthians 13:3-7 MSG)

So instead of spending time criticizing and judging I'm asking God to help me spend more time praying and loving. 

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1John 4:8 NIV).  I want to know God. Maybe loving others is one way of getting to know God better.