FAITH, FAMILY, FOOTBALL

          

          This evening the church I attend is hosting a huge women’s event called, “Faith, Family and Football.” If you know me, you know these are my three favorite things and in that exact order. So, of course, I am going. To make it even better there is a catered meal being served by our men. Husbands, boyfriends, sons, brothers, etc. will be serving us (for once) a yummy dinner. Then to top it all off I’m sharing this evening with a number of my good friends.  I’m not being sarcastic at all when I say, “Faith, Family, Football, Food and Friends,” are my five favorite things. Truly you couldn’t pick a more perfect evening for me (with the exception of the entire Denver Broncos team sitting at my table).

The importance of this event is to KICKOFF the fall women’s ministry--do you like that kickoff football reference there? That just made me very proud of myself. Okay moving on. There will be a guest speaker, worshipping and a number of other wonderful things to enjoy. I don’t know a great deal about our guest speaker, Jan Thomas, but I am very excited to listen to her journey after tragically losing her football coach husband. This, I believe, will be a wonderful event to get women involved in ministry. This fall there will be a number of Bible studies offered, MOPS and MOMSNEXT. I can’t wait to be a part of them.

So here we go! As women we get so busy with our lives that we tend to put our Bible studies on the back burner. I used to have numerous nights where I would see my Bible on my nightstand but I was too exhausted to pick it up and read. Being in a Bible study is even more of a commitment. With careers, kids, a home to take care of, activities, sports, etc. there just seems to be hardly any time for that kind of stuff. How wrong we all are, there is absolutely no reason for not spending time with The Word. For a long time I thought reading the Bible and going to church was enough for me to get a good understanding of my faith and what Christ expected of me. It just isn’t even close to enough. Women (and men alike) absolutely need to be part of Bible studies. There is truly no excuse in the world that you can give for not being a part of something that affects your future--your eternal future for that matter. There is not one person at any point of life that can say, “I’m good.” No matter what you’ve read, donated, volunteered for and so on there just isn’t a stopping point. We constantly need God and we continually need to be in a relationship with Christ. I understand that people have young children at home (as do I) or some of us have demanding careers but it is imperative that you find some time for yourself to study the Bible. Bible studies have completely changed my thinking and knowledge of the Bible and what is expected of me. I am not intimidated to read my Bible anymore; I’m thirsting for more. Bible studies have not only made me accountable but have made me a better Christian all around. I’ve become a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, etc.

My hope for everyone is that you will read your Bible daily. My desire for everyone is to join a Bible study. It is crucial to surround yourself with others in faith. You can always learn from others but you can also teach someone something that could impact them greatly.

 

Remember two things for me this week:

*We will forever be students of Christ.

*No one is too good or too busy to take time for Christ.  

Unexpected Gifts

This morning I woke up to my 9 year old, Isabella, taking the dog out.  I heard her sneak quietly down the stairs, whispering to Cotton to keep quiet.  I lay in bed, thanking God for this moment, thanking Him for my warm bed, and for the beautiful day He had in store for me.

She came into my room, whispered "good morning" to me.  I asked her if she could go make her bed, and she whispered that she already had.  To my surprise, not only had she done that...she'd brushed her teeth, done her hair, and was changed and ready for school.

What an Unexpected Gift.  If you have elementary age children, you can sympathize with me right now.  Last year, it was a never ending battle to get her to do the simple things...use personal hygiene, pick up her room, clean up after herself when she's in the kitchen.  I was so thankful this morning for the little she did for me...getting herself ready and taking care of Cotton, allowing me a few extra precious minutes to count my blessings.

Last weekend, a friend of mine showed up to our Friday night golf triple date with a wrapped present for me and another friend.  It even had a little bow on it.  I literally jumped and squealed with glee as I opened my little present.  My hands were even shaking a little.  It was the smallest thing, but so meaningful to me because it meant that she had been thinking of me when she went out that day to run her errands.  What an Unexpected Gift.

This morning, I helped at church for a ladies event we have coming up on Thursday.  I was greeted by a friend of mine with the sweetest smile, and the sweetest, most encouraging words about our blog.  My friend is also a writer, and she's quite gifted, so her words meant a lot to me.  Another Unexpected Gift.

Each lady gave me an Unexpected Gift.  One gift was wrapped in servitude, one gift wrapped in paper, and one gift wrapped in words.  These gifts, freely given, from friends, loved ones; people giving, without expecting anything back in return.

Sunday, November 23, 2003.  I received an Unexpected Gift that day.  The Gift that would change my life, and set me on the journey to the person I am today, and the person I'm becoming...

"God saved you by his grace when you believed.  And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.  For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:8-10 (NLT)

God's gift of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ was freely given, with no strings attached.  For a person like myself who'd grown up trying to be "perfect", never content with where she was, always striving and reaching for that next goal without enjoying the journey, this concept was so foreign...

I remember hearing the message that morning with questions swirling around in my mind: What do you mean, I could be so close to God without working, doing, achieving?  What do you mean, I didn't have to "do" more good things to reach this all perfect, all awesome God?  What about all my past mistakes, my junk?  

And all of a sudden, I just got it.  I understood what God was telling me.  He was telling me that I was His child, He was my Father.  And He loved me and accepted me just as I was, because, well, He made me!  He was telling me that Jesus had paid for all my sins, he was the perfect sacrifice for all humanity's sins, and that all I had to do was believe.  I heard the faith message:

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." Romans 10:8-19 (NIV)

And just like that, just like the unexpected gifts my daughter and friends gave me last weekend, there was God, inviting and drawing me in, giving me the most Unexpected Gift, the gift of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ.  No more striving for perfection to reach God...

And now, the striving has changed.  I still strive, I still challenge myself, I still won't allow myself to just settle for mediocre.  But the difference is that I no longer strive to reach God...I strive because I am so thankful for this gift of salvation that God gave me.  I know now that I was placed here on this earth, in this place, at this time, for a purpose...His purpose.  I was created to do good works which He prepared in advance for me to do.  Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

I pray that you discover your "good work" that God intended for you to do.  He has a plan and a purpose for you!  And discovering this purpose will give you the energy to move, even when you're tired; to smile, even when things get tough; and to find joy, true joy, in all circumstances.

Love, C.

See what I mean, we have the greatest friends.

My husband was informed on Friday that he had to leave for Germany for work Saturday morning. It was an unexpected trip but critical for him to go. With four kids I’m use to chaos so this was just going to be another typical week in the Knudson house. The only unfortunate part was that his best friend from Chicago and his family were planning on spending the weekend with us. Thankfully his friend was understanding and flexible. On Friday we decided to go golfing with two other couples. Very spur of the moment but I thought it would be perfect to spend some time doing something we love before he left for a week to Germany. After golf we spent the rest of the evening watching a movie with the kids and making popcorn, ice cream and cookies. It was a perfect way to spend the evening before he left, with friends and then family.

                Saturday and Sunday I was on my own and it was filled with a birthday party, house warming party, a scheduled family photo session and other craziness. Some people would choose to just skip them all but not me, of course. Each one of these events was an invite from a friend that has meant something dear to me. Plus I enjoy staying busy to keep my mind off of missing my husband. I did have to decline a grill out we were invited to on Sunday evening because it interfered with our family photo session. By the way, the family photo session turned out to be the kids with the dogs. Things went fairly smoothly until I realized I drained my battery in the minivan because I left the lights, radio, etc. on during the photo session. Thankfully my dear friend’s husband came to the rescue. We arrived home safely and I made a huge Sunday dinner for the kids and I. The dinner included sweet corn that some wonderful friends brought over to us. See what I mean, we have the greatest friends.

                Today all went pretty well. I rode to the gym with one of my friends and we chatted away. While working out we talked with some other girlfriends about go golfing on Tuesday. As long as I can figure out the sitter situation I will most likely join them. I had planned on lunch with another friend but school was released early so I knew it would be impossible to make it. She understands and we will definitely try for next week. My evening consisted of carpools, soccer and a meeting at the elementary school. I knew it was going to be crazy but I had forgot that my minivan only seats eight and I had to take seven kids to soccer. So what to do with my two youngest other than call a friend. Once again one of my dear friends came to the rescue. Not only did she watch the two young ones she took them to the pool. Seriously, who does that? Who takes a bunch of kids to the pool? I’m the only crazy one that runs around with four kids. She saved me a great deal of hassle and my kids had a blast. See what I mean, we have the greatest friends.  

                My husband doesn’t get home until Thursday evening but I’m half way there. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are booked, booked, booked. My life is always busy between four kids, two dogs and a husband who travels. I tend to overschedule myself and volunteer for way too much so when my husband has to leave I find myself in a bind. However, I feel very blessed to know I’ve built quite the support team here. Different friends fit into my life in different ways and each and every one of them is equally important to me. I know I have wonderful friends and if I need anything I can call on them. So now you see what I mean, we have the greatest friends. 

I challenge everyone this week to do one nice thing for a friend. Make it random and do it for someone that would least expect it.

Some ideas:

-babysit so they can go on a date

-make a card

-give a small gift

-treat to lunch

-clean their house

-buy them flowers

-mow their yard

 

Have fun and look up JOHN 15:13

 

Unmet Expectations of Others

Expectations of people. Everyone has them.

When I was younger, I always had certain expectations of people... I would place these expectations on my friends, boyfriends, co-workers, and bosses. Looking back, sometimes these were placed on them unfairly, as I wasn't very good at communicating with those around me. And sadly, no matter what, no one ever met my expectations and I would end up angry and upset.  

I've always had a pretty tough, confident exterior. As a child I excelled easily at things I put my mind to, and my parents always encouraged and uplifted me, making me feel pretty self-reliant.  I never wanted to "impose" on anyone or ask for help as I felt this would make me vulnerable and I would then "owe" them for any kindness or help shown to me.  

As I excelled at tasks (mostly on my own), especially at work, it was hard for me to understand why people weren't as driven as me... Actually it was really hard for me to understand people that weren't like me: task-oriented, rather than relationship oriented. And this put a lot of stress on my relationships because I was so hard on myself, and on others. In my mind, as incorrect thinking as it was, I just wanted to help people "be better", thinking my way was always better for them. My expectations for others were so high.  You can just imagine how far that got me!

It was in my early 30's that I realized that I didn't have any deep, lasting relationships with anyone other than my family.  If you can relate at all, there is hope! I'm 36 today, and can tell you that I've never felt more fulfilled in my relationships as I do today. It took a lot of prayer, and God had to do a lot of work inside of me. 

With the help of the Holy Spirit, God changed me from the inside out.  I read somewhere that no amount of self-help books, podcasts, or seminars can create true, lasting change, but only the inner working of the Holy Spirit in you.  I realized that I needed to release my expectations of others, love my friends unconditionally, and allow them to give me whatever friendship they wanted to give me, no strings attached.  

Through bible study and prayer, I realized what a prone to offense, judgemental, critical, egotistical, and selfish person I could be.  I was the kind of person that always wanted to have the last word in, always wanted to be the one people were listening to, always wanted to be the important one. What a sad way to live. No wonder it was hard for me to have lastig relationships! 

A couple of things that helped me become a better friend:

1.  Listen more, speak less.

2.  Show your friends appreciation! 

3.  Figure out their love language.  Mine is Acts of Service. The other 4 are: Words of affirmation, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Quality Time.  So although I may show my friends love and appreciation by doing something for them, if their love language is Gifts, they may feel most special if I bring them a box of cookies, or a cute bracelet I see that reminds me of them. 

4.  Share meals together!

5.  Don't be jealous of their other relationships... Encourage them!

6.  Expect from them, only what they are willing to give.

I've shifted my expectations of others onto God. When someone lets me down (which they always will... people are human and I know I let people down all the time), I remind myself that there was only one perfect person... Jesus.  I remind myself that if whatever offense won't matter in 5 years, then I just need to let it go. And I remind myself that my hope and trust is perfect in God, not in men. 

I also remind myself daily that, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on me, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18).  Reminding myself of this helps me ward off jealousy, arguments, strife, and offense.  It helps me see things from others' perspective.  It reminds me that I can choose my actions, to live peacefully with others.  I still mess up, but discovering this truth has helped me make friends, and most importantly, keep friends.   

Love, C. 

My confession: I'm Fulfilled, yet Exhausted.

I lay in bed Wednesday night with Cooper. To tell you the truth, I had a frustrating evening with him. We were at church for our Wednesday evening kid's ministry kickoff, and let's just say, he didn't do the most stellar job in the listening and obeying department. Long gone are the days where I get embarrassed about his behavior... I look around and typically realize I'm not the only mom dealing with a rambunctious kid.  But I do admit feeling worn out after a long day of parenting.  And as I write, I realize how tired I've been over the last week or so, and recognize my need for rest.

Wednesday night was also the end of summer for both my kids. Isabella started school last week, but Cooper started his first day of preschool today.  I'm looking back on this last summer wondering how I would honestly answer the question "How was your summer?"  And if I were to be honest, I would say Fulfilling, yet Exhausting.

Fulfilling, yet Exhausting.  Cooper is 4. Isabella is 9. Cooper is old enough to have some freedom, but not as much freedom as his older sister.  Needless to say, this caused a lot of trying days in our household this summer. I lost it more times than I care to admit, and had to apologize to both kids more times than I should have had to.  There was a lot we could do this summer that we couldn't do last summer because Cooper's older, yet there was a lot he couldn't do either, which made life difficult at times.  

Fulfilling, yet Exhausting.  I'm blessed and so thankful to be able to stay home with my children every day.  I do not take it for granted for a single second.  Especially in the summer, when all I want to do with them is create memories.  I want them to grow up, get married, have kids of their own, and have such fun memories and stories to tell their kids as they lay in bed at night, just like I do with them now.  And yes, I believe our goal for this summer was achieved, what we set out to do was accomplished.

So I'm Fulfilled, yet Exhausted.

I realize now that I'm thankful for all we did this summer, all the relationships we built, and all the fun we had.  Wouldn't change it.  I wanted to be a "Yes" Mom this summer.  The kind of mom that said "yes" to everything as long as it wasn't hurting anyone...

You want to build a fort with blankets for the tenth time this week and not clean it up... Go right ahead!  You want to go swimming (even though I haven't done laundry for two weeks)?  Sure!  You want ice cream for dinner?  Let's do it!  Yup, I was that mom this summer.

And next summer, I will choose to be a "Yes" Mom again.  As I did this summer, I'll let myself off the hook when it comes to household chores and errands, and choose to do whatever the kids want to do.  

But a new season has begun...with school and fall activities starting to fill our calendar again, I need to prioritize, and make sure I'm not saying "yes" to all the great opportunities that come along.  Because the best I may be able to do for my kids this fall is to say "no" to some really good things in order to create some space in our active life to pray, think, and rest.

Just like Jesus did.  Again and again, he surrounded himself with people, but he also recognized his need to be still, to spend time with his heavenly Father.  On several occasions, he'd steal off on his own to pray and meditate.  To fill his tank up.

And as active as we are, we also need to fill up.  Just like my car needs gasoline to run, my spirit must be filled in order to go out again tomorrow and be the person I need to be for my husband, my kids, my friends, my neighbors...anyone I'm in contact with.

My way to fill up may be different than yours.  The important thing is to find your way...whether it be the habit of taking a walk by yourself surrounded by only nature, or sitting still with a cup of coffee in the early morning just being thankful for whatever it is you have, or doing a bible study for the first time, or maybe even just opening your bible and journaling... whatever it is, we need to be as intentional about it as we are in taking each breath we take every single day.

So my prayer for this fall will be: Lord, help me be still, and know that you are God.  Help me recognize when I need to slow down, and when I need to slow things down for my kids.  Help me know what is most important to you, and choose YOU instead of all the other options presented to me.

Love, C.

The Challenge

Proverbs 22:6

 

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

This fall my church has decided to do a Bible study called, “The Challenge.” It is a study of the New Testament and includes the Books of the Bible New Testament and a Challenge journal. The plan is to finish by Thanksgiving. The Books of the Bible New Testament is broken down in a way to keep readers on schedule but also to coincide with the Challenge journal. The journal includes reflections of each reading, weekly questions and some other valuable thinking challenges. When my pastor mentioned this new Bible Study during a sermon a few weeks back my first reaction was, “Oh how awesome, who can I get to join in the Bible Study with me?” My mind totally wandered thinking of people I work-out with, neighbors, my husband’s coworkers, etc. Fun thoughts of gathering at someone’s home or hosting, meals or snacks being prepared, kids getting to play at someone’s house while we share babysitters crossed thorough my mind like a slot machine that just hit it big.

It wasn’t until ten minutes later when I glanced over at my son eagerly listening to our pastor that I thought to myself, “What about my son?” He is fifteen years old and should be involved in this too. He takes such an interest every week when our pastor is giving a lesson. Sometimes he takes notes and other times he is just soaking it in. Every time we are asked to turn somewhere in our Bible my son either uses his You Version application on his phone or opens one of the available Bibles by our seats. He is always thoroughly engaged and stays focused on the topic. Although, I did catch him dosing off one time this summer after a late night/early morning sleepover with some buddies. But only that one time and we have all done that at least once in our life. Why was I all of a sudden stressing about this. What was the big contemplation? Do I need to involve him in this new study? How do I go about including him but also involving numerous other friends of ours? Would it be personal for my son? Will he feel intimidated being around all of our adult friends?

After praying about it for nearly ten seconds, I received an answer from God before I could even say Amen. He was loud and clear in church to me that day. He reminded me of all the Bible studies I have been involved in, the ones I’m currently doing and the ones I will be signing up for. I will be doing one Tuesday mornings, Monday evenings and MOPS on Thursday mornings. My husband is doing one on Thursday evenings and as a couple we have one we are currently doing on certain Sunday evenings. Goodness are we capable of doing another Bible study? Sure we are capable of it, but this time as a family because they need us too. I don’t want to rely on Sunday school, Awana, and small daily prayers or chats we have with our children about Christ. I want to actually sit down and go through this journey together. How amazing for us as a family to say we read and discussed the entire New Testament together. My oldest will definitely learn a great deal from it. He is only under our roof for three more years. We really need to make sure we spend quality time with him that involves our Lord. Our nine year old will also partake; she is at a critical age where she really needs to KNOW the Bible and not just memorize a weekly verse. Then there is our six year old who probably knows more about the Bible than I do. She was born to be a pastor’s wife. She will be sure to make all of our family accountable for this upcoming Bible Study. The three year old will probably pay attention for about three minutes but if we can make it fun and include him in conversation then that’s all I can ask for.   

My husband and I are involved in wonderful Bible studies that have taught us more than we could ever pray for. We love our groups and enjoy sharing with others. This time, however, we have been called to do a Bible study as a family. What better way to influence our children than through the two most important people on this Earth, their parents. Leading our children to Christ through our encouragement is crucial to me. My husband and I both grew up going to church but we did not find Christ until we were in our mid-20’s and unfortunately our parents weren’t the ones that led us on that path. We absolutely want to make an impact on our children before we send them off into this crazy world. As much as I want to include others in this new Bible study I know that God is telling me to do this one as a family. In the meantime I’m going to make sure and mention it to others because I think everyone should do it. That is one reason for writing about it today. Once we finish I can’t wait to share with others what we did. Even more exciting will be watching my kids share with their friends how they read the entire New Testament with their parents and maybe challenge their friends to do the same.

Here is a link to the Bible study my family will be starting this fall: 

http://www.prairielakeschurch.org/services/the-challenge.aspx 

  

You're not alone.

The other day I had a conversation with a friend that reminded me of something that Isabella went through when she was younger.  She'll be 10 in September, and I still can't believe how fast time has gone by.  I still remember her as the quiet and shy little 2 year old.  Smart as a whip, but super observant, and not always willing to join in on other's fun.  She's not shy and timid at all anymore, but I remember the day we were at the library, and a bigger girl hit her because the girl wanted at toy Isabella had.  I remember her tears, and feeling her hurt.  I remember holding her and wanting to make it all better for her.

And it was then that I realized that I can't always make it better for my kids.  I can't make other kids behave, I can't make other people be nice, or be fair, and I can't make other people want to play with her.  I can't always make people see her point of view.  Realizing that I couldn't always protect her, and knowing there was a specific way I wanted to raise her (even though I didn't really know what that "way" was), I dove into books on topics like parenting, relationships, and people skills.  I realized that since I couldn't change what others did around my children, I could equip my kids with skills to help them handle themselves when we weren't around to protect them.

I started reading, really reading to improve about 10 years ago. It was around the time Isabella was born.  September of 2003.  A couple of things happened that year that helped me realize that I didn't "have it" all figured out (even though at 26, I really thought there wasn't much more for me to learn).  By reading, I started realizing how much I didn't know.  It totally humbled me.  And it gave me the hunger to read more, apply more, learn more.

By reading, I learned that I wasn't alone.  That I could get help from these books at any time.  I took the grocery cart mentality with everything I read...At the grocery store, you don't put everything in your cart.  Same with reading.  I may not agree with everything I read, or understand everything I read, but at least I always knew I could go back to that shelf and place that idea in my grocery cart if I needed it in the future.

I know that reading can be kind of hard.  It's so much easier to turn the television on at the end of a long day.  And I'm not opposed to television at all.  If you know me well, you'll know that one of my vices would be Netflix... I love shows like White Collar, 24, and Heartland.  I also love watching shows like Revenge, and Scandal (yes.  I am fully aware that these are probably not the best shows to watch, but I admit that they are entertaining to me).  I just realized that while television is entertaining, it does nothing for my spirit, my mind, my family, my friendships, or our finances (yes, reading does help in getting that promotion at your job, or helping your business prosper).

If I've peaked your interest, start by reading 15 minutes a night.  Pick a topic that interests you.  Try to apply what you learn, and see the results.  Be aware of the results.  I promise you, seeing results will get you excited to read more!

Here are a couple of my favorite quotes from the books above:

• Captivating (by Stasi Eldredge):  "A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be, and the room to become."

• The Five Love Languages (by Gary Chapman):  "People speak different love languages.  Being sincere is not enough.  We must be willing to learn other's love languages if we are to be effective communicators of love."

• The Friendship Factor (by Alan Loy Mcginnis):  "If we are open about our humble origins, as well as our great moments, if we build more windows, and fewer walls, we will have more friends."

• Wired that Way (by Florence Littauer):  "People with Choleric personalities are naturally goal oriented and live to achieve those goals.  They are highly task-oriented and well-organized, but they are also outgoing, just like Popular Sanguines.  However, in addition to having these positive traits, Cholerics also tend to have a short fuse and to be bossy."  On a side note, learning that I was bossy was something that made me want to change pretty fast!

So what did I do about the little girl that hit Isabella when she was 2?  Yes, I talked to the mother, and the child apologized.  We had a chance to practice the phrase "I forgive you".  We then went home and told daddy, and daddy taught her how to tell someone "Please do not hit me".  Then he taught her that if someone bullied her again, she could stand up for herself.  He proceeded to teach her how to throw a jab, cross, and that if she had to defend herself, or defend someone being bullied, we'd totally back her up...after she tried the more peaceful course of course!

But what do we teach our kids when their feelings get hurt on the playground and friends don't want to play with them?

What do we teach our kids when they don't score very well at their gymnastics meet?

What do we teach our kids when two of their best friends aren't getting alone, and they're caught in the middle?

I'm so glad that we started reading years ago.  Your mind is like a computer...whether you remember things or not, whatever you put in it is stored.  The last 10 years of reading are stored in my head somewhere.  And I pray for the Holy Spirit to help me access this wisdom all the time.    

"Do NOT conform to the pattern of this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Love, C.