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From the bottom of my heart...Thank you!

CC

The First Man in my Life

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It's not Father's Day, not even close to it.  It's Saturday, October 12, and it's UNI's Homecoming weekend.  Isabella had a sleepover here last night, celebrating her 10th birthday, which was September 19th.  I know it's late, but thankfully, she's not one to be upset about this...she knew when our schedule cleared up, we'd celebrate with her friends.

Thinking of what we have in store today, makes me think of my dad.  Not because I had a childhood filled with going to football games, tailgating with friends, or morning runs for Hy-vee donuts (which is what Tyler did with the girls for breakfast this morning), but because these were all things I did not get to do with my dad, but wish I did.

I remember being jealous of my friends that did tons of stuff with their dads...true daddy's girls in my eyes.  Not until recent years have I learned to appreciate all the things my dad did do for me to help me be the woman I am today.  And all he did for me fills my heart with pride to be his daughter.

I guess thinking about my dad goes back to a couple of weeks ago when I walked through an The Journey to Freedom, an exhibit put on by Prairie Lakes Church on human trafficking.  Out of the many things that stuck out in my mind, one was that people fall into the trap of human trafficking due to a void in their life.  And one type of void is the one created when a father chooses to leave his family, his children.

Which again, causes me to think of the first man in my life, my father.

My dad grew up during the Great Depression.  He was smart, a hard worker, and a very handsome fellow.  He's told me amazing stories about his childhood, and his early adult years...stories that I'm just now starting to appreciate.  I hope he'll write these stories out someday, just so future generations of my family can know this amazing man.

He was of the generation of men that started a career at one firm, and retired from that same firm.  For my dad, that firm was Arthur Andersen, LLP, a former big 5 accounting firm.  He retired as a partner in 1990, which is when we made the move to Iowa so he could begin his life-long dream of farming.  I've never really met anyone quite like him.

Growing up, my dad was never around. He worked all the time.  He traveled a lot. But although I didn't see him much, I knew how much he loved me.  I don't know how, since he didn't spend a lot of time with me.  I just knew.

I spent most of my life afraid of him, because I knew how much he expected of me, of everyone around him, and there was little room for error.  He was a perfectionist, and I never really felt like I could measure up.  I didn't want to disappoint him. But during the weekend, when he had a little time, he would sit, offer his lap to me, and I would climb up onto it, and there was no place safer I'd rather be.

My dad taught me the strength in a firm handshake, he taught me how to look people in the eye, smile, and greet them. He taught me how to set a table properly for guests, and how to sit quietly and politely while he entertained clients and colleagues in our home.  He taught me the importance of a first impression, and how to ask open-ended questions in order to keep a conversation going.  He taught me a lot of things.

He taught me the power of positive affirmations...I still remember the 5 "I am" statements he would have me repeat out loud to him as often as he was around..."I am beautiful.  I am smart..." As a teenager, I'd get so embarrassed, but now I know that these little things helped mold my self-image, and helped me ward off the insecurities that so often creep in for young adults.

Looking back, my dad was a man who wore many hats, with many loves.  I remember one of his closets housed 5 dark suites, 7 white shirts, several ties, and 5 pair of perfectly polished black wing tips...one for each day of the work week.  To say my dad is the most conservative person I know is an understatement.

During the week he was the managing partner of the Peruvian branch, meeting with high level executives, giving them advice, and ensuring their adherence to the ethical standards in place when it came to their financial statements. He was also something of a tax expert, helping them make decisions that would help their bottom line, ethically of course.

When dad talked, people listened. Even as a little girl, I knew that he was well trusted and respected. I would walk into the office he was in charge of, and his coworkers would dote on me. Not until many years later did I realize how many people's lives he impacted. He knew how to draw out the best in people. When I was older, I showed him a book that had impacted me..."How to win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. And he told me that book had been as important to him and his staff, as the Bible was to a Christ follower.

During the weekend, he would trade all of it in for a pair of worn jeans or khakis and a white t-shirt. I remember how he would quietly stand and water, row after row of vegetables he had planted. I remember him tending to the rabbits and guinea pigs he raised. I remember carting his black wingtips to the back of our property in my little pink play grocery cart, so he could meticulously polish them, as I patiently watched him or played with the bunnies and chickens next to him.

After the busyness in his week, the weekends he spent at home, I remember how STILL he was. By his actions, he showed me how to value the precious time he had where he could be still, without filling his schedule with more on the weekends.

Today, my dad is retired from public practice. He works his land and his business in the same conscientious and diligent manner he managed his public accounting practice.

As I reflect on my father, I think of the balance between being busy and being still. I always wondered why my dad didn't take on any of the any consulting projects offered to him after retirement. And I get it now.

He made a choice. A choice Ty and I find ourselves making every day for each other and our two kids.

The world is a different place today. Gone are the days when every weekend would find every kid in the neighborhood running around playing well into the dusk hours. Or hours of board games, weekends spent baking, cooking, or canning, or basketball pick-up games in the driveway. I get kind of nostalgic, thinking of the ways things must have been back in the day.  The days where time moved at a slower pace.  We've replaced these simple joys with loading up our families into our vehicles to travel an hour or more away to weekend soccer tournaments, gymnastics meets, swim meets, etc.

And don't get me wrong. Our daughter, Isabella is a competitive gymnast. She's at the gym 12 hours a week, not counting the 9 or 10 meets we have scheduled through January. She's also a competitive dancer, at the dance studio 3 hours a week. Cooper is in preschool, and does gymnastics and Awana Cubbies once a week each.

Each season we have to determine what our kids can handle well, and adjust our schedules accordingly. For this season, our family has figured out how to spend time together, be still, and be active... For now, it works.

And each season we will have to reevaluate what the meaning of "busy" and "productive" are. I don't want us to be "busy" chasing after too many different dreams at once.

Ty and I agreed a long time ago that we would help our kids excel at one or two areas they showed talent and passion in, rather than be involved in too many activities, and just be average at them.  We want to teach our kids that sometimes we have to say "no" to things that make up a good life so we can say "yes" to the things that can lead us to a great life.  And every family is different, every child is different, this is just what has worked for us.

My dad is a different man now, than he was when I was a child.  I think it's a lot to do with him being still, not having as busy and as stressful a schedule as in the past.  Over the years, I've seen how tender my dad is with our kids.  When Isabella was small, my dad would see her, immediately go down on one knee, and talk to her at her level, building trust and love with her.  He does the same with Cooper.  He smiles all the time.  His eyes light up with joy when he sees them.  And my kids adore him.  All the things I wanted for myself, my kids have with him. And I wouldn't have it any other way.  When Isabella spends time with my dad, she is gentle, quiet, and at peace. She spends time with them on the farm to get away from her productive schedule. She spends time with my dad, and is still.

My point in all of this is that people do change.  What I so desperately wanted for myself as a child, I now see my dad giving our kids.  I didn't know what I was doing when I was younger, but I remember asking God over and over again for what I have today with my whole family...peace, acceptance, warmth, comfort, joy, love.  I finally belong somewhere, and my kids do too.  God is good, God is faithful, and I believe wholeheartedly that even when I was going through what I thought was so hard during the first 30+ years of my life, God had a plan all along to redeem all the sorrows.  He was there in the midst of all of it.

And today, I seek to do as my father has done and modeled in his life...

"Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before" 1Thessalonians 4:11 (NLT)

He spoke, and it came to be...

This morning I went in to wake Cooper up to get him to school. He sat up, pumped his fist in the air, and proclaimed, "He spoke, and it came to be!" (Psalm 33:9)

I had to giggle because it was so adorable. See, the night before we had rushed through his Cubbies homework for tonight's Cubbies program. We usually go through his homework a little at a time, all week long, but for some reason, this week I didn't start until last night. Such is parenthood and a busy schedule.

Let's back up. Cooper attends the Awana Clubs Cubbies program every Wednesday night. What Cubbies does for us is provide us with a handbook that we can turn to every week, which helps reinforce the teaching Cooper receives at the weekly program. The program mixes bible teaching and verse memorization with songs, games, snacks, and fun. Isabella was a cubbie when she was younger, and as there are many incredible Wednesday night church programs for our little ones, I believe that as parents we should try different ones to find the right fit for each kid.

Anyway, Cooper's early morning proclamation got me thinking today of something I read a long time ago, and something I learned from some old mentors:

What you allow into your mind is what will come out of your mouth.
Think about this for a minute. The things we talk about typically reflect what we allow ourselves to think about. It reflects the programs we watch, the books or magazines we read, and the language of the people we surround ourselves with.

I also read somewhere that whatever you allow your brain to soak in before you go to bed is what your brain meditates on all night long. So it was of no surprise to me when Cooper said what he said this morning: "He spoke, and it came to be" (Psalm 33:9), as that was the bible verse that he was supposed to memorize for tonight's program. We worked and worked on it last night before bed. And I guess he has it memorized for tonight, and he'll get a sticker in his book for this achievement. It's the little things that make him happy.

As you think of the verse, think of how God spoke the whole world into existence. In the beginning, God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. That is how powerful God is. And as joint-heirs with Christ, our words are powerful too.

Our words shape our world, our attitude, our daily life. And now, I'm even more aware of my words, because not only are they shaping my life, they are shaping Cooper's and Isabella's life as well.

So I keep plugging away, filling both of my kids brains with those things that are true, noble, right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable... anything excellent or praiseworthy... God wants us to think about those things (Philippians 4:8). And my prayer for them is that if I can get their mind right, get it focused on what God would want them to do or say, then the words they speak will be pleasing, uplifting, encouraging, and a blessing to others.

I refuse to put my kids in a bubble. They are going to hear things at school, hear things on TV, that I wouldn't want them repeating. They are going to school with children that are being raised differently than them, where different words, phrases, behaviors, or mindsets may be permissible in their families, but not in ours. And that is ok! As long as at the end of the day, we can talk about different situations, and how we, as Christ followers, would handle them, it's ok! As parents, if we take the responsibility of diluting the negative of the world with the positive in the Word, I think we'll be pleasing God. It's a constant battle, but one that is worth fighting.

"He spoke, and it came to be". When I speak, I pray that my words may be good ones. Because if I really believe God, and what we speak, comes to be, I hope I'm speaking good things. I want good things to come to be, for our family and loved ones.

God is bigger.

Today is Saturday October 5, 2014.  I just got done watching my friend Erin's son Liam play flag football.  Well, the game was at 9, and we finally made it there at 9:45.  So Cooper and I only caught a small portion of the game, but I'm hopeful that small snippets of time here and there will continually develop Cooper's passion for sports and excelling at something he loves.

So I came home, and I'm making cinnamon rolls for Isabella and her friend Audra.  My house is a complete disaster, I still have laundry from two Wednesdays ago in a hamper in my bedroom waiting to be put away.  Piles of dirty clothes look like land mines in my bedroom...but at least they are separated!  My kitchen countertops feel slimy because I haven't wiped them down, there are dishes in the sink ready to be put into the dishwasher, but there are clean dishes in the dishwasher that need to be put away.  I could go on and on. I do feel a small sense of accomplishment as I did get a couple of our business accounts balanced yesterday, but there is still a ton to do in my office.  Has anyone been in this spot lately?

So amidst all this chaos, I felt God calling me to sit, be still, and write.  Maybe it's a letter to him, maybe it's a letter to you, maybe it's just a letter to myself.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a piece called "Anxiety about the Future".  As I don't know how to add links to my blog to direct you to that piece (another thing on my To Do list... figure out how to use Word Press and do all the fun things I have in store for this blog), if you want to read it, it was written in September.  And ignore the formatting of some of the old posts...when I transferred them over from the other blog, some of the paragraphs got lost so they look kind of choppy.  I'll be trying to fix that as soon as I have a little extra time.

Anyway, just a couple of weeks ago, my life seemed perfect.  I felt that all my relationships were intact (which is a HUGE thing for me...I've struggled all my life at trying to find, and defining true friendship), everyone in my world was healthy, my kids were doing great, Ty and I were happy, and our finances were prospering.  I could feel God's hand in everything I was doing, and every day ended with many blessings counted at night.  But I knew in my heart that something was brewing in the distance.

But to tell you the truth, yes, some messy things happened to me in the last two weeks.  But I believe the messes allowed me to see the messes all around me that have been around all summer long.

Messes like strife between friends, discontent, seeking of purpose in life, adjustments to new jobs, my pastor's wife's mother being admitted into the hospital unexpectedly, a friend's husband's cancer diagnosis, another friend possibly facing cancer, many friends' unexpected tears, furloughs for some of our friends who work for the government, marital struggles, unexpected divorce, my new awareness of human trafficking...  they've been there all along.  I've just been blissfully unaware.

Until now.  I'm doing a bible study called Stuck, by Jennie Allen. And again, I wish I could direct you to Jennie Allen's website, or allow you to click on a link so you could purchase this study.  Doing this study is making me aware of all of my "stuck" places.  Also making me aware that although everyone may look pretty on the outside, like a gift wrapped in pretty wrapping paper with a large pink bow, I may not know exactly what's on the inside until we go deeper.  Everyone around me looks so "pretty". But everyone (like myself) has a "stuck" place...whether they are aware of it or not is the question.

And that's where Grace comes in again for me.  Because until we, ourselves, become aware of our "stuck" places, it's so hard to see there is a problem, and so hard to get help.  But I believe that being shown Grace, allows us to feel Love, which allows us to open up and not feel condemned, to get us to a place where we can hear Truth, so we can finally get the help we need to get Unstuck.

My heart aches for humanity right now.  My head's been spinning all week long with what's going on in the lives of the people I care about.  And the best I know to do is Pray.  And although I know that this is the best, parts of me still ache to find a way to take away the pain.

Thankfully, we went to a movie Thursday night, Kirk Cameron's Unstoppable.  It put a little perspective on the question:  "Why do bad things happen to Good People?".  I can't take away the pain for my loved ones.  And for someone who doesn't know God, it's hard to explain this question away.  And I think this is why I so desperately at times want to do more to help people know God.  Because knowing Him has made ALL the difference in Tyler's and my life.

Sometimes God allows us to go through the pain so we can come out stronger on the other side.  I can't explain everything I got out of this movie, other than deepening my small understanding of God's deep love for us, and God's Sovereignty.  If you can, please take some time to watch this movie.  If nothing else, I think the filming of it was amazing.

No scripture reference today.

Just know that no matter where you are in journey, God's got you.  God knows you even though you don't know him. He loves you.

GOD is bigger than any problem you are facing today.

Do I really know what Grace and Mercy mean?

It happened on a Saturday morning.  I was trying to make it to my Saturday abs class, and I was running a little late.  At the bottom of the hill, I could see the police car peeking at me by the corner, patiently waiting for me to go by.  I said a little prayer, for the police officer not to see me, but he did, and I found myself pulled over on the corner of Hudson and 12th as my neighbors went by me on their way to the same class.

So yes, I was speeding.  Yes, I broke the law.  And I could go into a million reasons as to why it shouldn't have happened that way, but it did, I got a speeding ticket, and that was that.

And this reminded me of a sermon pastor John gave a long time ago.

Okay, let's back up a bit.  The words Grace, Mercy, Truth, Discipline, Justification, Sanctification, Righteousness, and Faith have been tumbling around in my head a lot lately.  And over the years, I've asked myself...What do these words really mean?  And how exactly do they apply to my life?  And if they meant so much to Jesus, how can I live these words out in my day-to-day situations?

So let's go back to my speeding ticket.  We can all agree that I broke the law by speeding.  That I disobeyed the law.  And the law punished me by giving me a ticket.  I got what I deserved.

But WHAT IF the law had decided to give me a warning instead?  In this case, even though I'd broken the law, I would have received MERCY, because I didn't receive the punishment I deserved.

And WHAT IF my neighbor Kara, who had been driving behind me, had decided to stop, pull the police officer aside, and said:

"Look, I know CC was speeding.  I know she disobeyed the law.  And I know that a speeding ticket needs to be issued to right this wrong.  Let me, Kara, take that ticket.  Write it up in my, Kara's, name.  Let me pay that ticket, instead of CC, and right her wrong."

In this case, I would have received GRACE from Kara.  Getting something good, for which I'd done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

See, MERCY says she won't give us the punishment we deserve.  When Cooper is acting up, and says mean things to Isabella, or hits her just because he feels like it, when she doesn't react, doesn't hit back, doesn't yell at him...she's showing him mercy.  Even though he may deserve her wrath at times, she withholds it and shows him mercy.

GRACE goes one step further.  When Cooper acts up, and not only does Isabella withhold her wrath, but instead kneels down, tenderly hugs him, and tells him she loves him anyway, and gives him her last Scratch cupcake, she's giving him the gift of GRACE.  Because in that moment, he may not deserve any of those good things, but she gives them to him anyway.

Pictures of GRACE:

When a husband commits adultery, and comes to his wife, and she knows in her heart that they'll be able to work things out, and forgives him for his wrong.  GRACE.

When I yell at my husband for something petty because I'm stressed out about life, and he refuses to react, but lets me be, and then proceeds to make the bed amidst my crankiness.  GRACE.

When I hurt a friend unintentionally, but still, I hurt her, and she forgives me, and makes sure I know it by continuing to intentionally live life with me.  GRACE.

When a young friend is living a loose, questionable life, and instead of judging her, I continue to be there for her.  GRACE.

When my friends accept me for who I am, all my mistakes, and choose to ignore all the little things that bug them about me because they love me despite my flaws.  GRACE.

"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) GRACE.

See, as I've said in previous posts, we are all sinners.  We are broken, flawed, and ugly on the inside.  We disobey, put ourselves and our interests above others, and try to make ourselves look better in order to be accepted by others.  We lie when we don't want to lie, we gossip when we know we shouldn't, we get angry and irritated about silly little things that aren't really all that important.  We put our present wants and earthly desires before those things that will grant us eternal reward.  We are HUMAN.  Flawed.  Broken.  HUMAN.

And in that flawed, human state...in our sinful state, God still loved us so much that He gave his only son to die in our place.  Jesus was the perfect sacrifice.  His blood covered our sins, no matter how badly we had messed up.  Instead of giving us what we deserve, which is an eternity in hell, God gave us the gift of GRACE, giving us a way out of hell, even though we so deserve it.

And how does GRACE apply in my life today?  When I start getting irritated, frustrated, angry, discontent, self-righteous, egotistical, or pride-filled; when I want to state my rights, and win an argument; when I think things are going unfairly for myself, my family, or my friends, and I want to lash out at the ones hurting them...

I remember God's gift of GRACE to me.  When I feel hurt, irritated, frustrated, or angry at someone, I think of Jesus as he was beaten and bruised.  He said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."  (Luke 23:34).

If Jesus could endure all of that, and still extend his executors grace, I know I should work really hard at extending grace to others, and myself (don't we all beat ourselves up constantly?) on a daily basis.

Her first Lie

You know when people ask you about your kids, and you start to describe them? When I describe Isabella, it goes something like this: 

"Isabella is a perfect child.  If I tell her "no", she rarely challenges me. She's smart and does well in school. She has a pleasant personality, she's easy to be around, and has a contagious laugh. If I were guaranteed more kids like her, I'd definitely have more."  

Geez. I'd love to take credit for her awesomeness, but if you've heard the stories I have of my second child, Cooper (the "fun" one), you know I can't. 

But she's not perfect.

She was about 3 when I started giving her vitamins. She disliked taking them but after I told her why she should be taking them, she didn't argue with me anymore. 

I thought she was on board with the whole vitamin-every-day policy. 

Until the day I took the seat cushions off the couch while cleaning. 

What do you think I found?

Yup. A full weeks' worth of vitamins. 

And that, my friends, was her first lie. 

My heart sank. I knew this was the moment. The moment we all know is inevitable in our lives. Because we aren't perfect.  Despite her awesomeness, her sinful nature was in full display through her first lie. 

If you really think about it, there is no perfect person. We are all born sinners. I know that word, "sinners" is not a popular one. But all it means is that we are all disobedient people. We disobey in thoughts, words, and deeds. We don't always want to disobey, but somehow we just do.  "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)

Don't let this upset you, me calling all of us sinners. Stay with me. 

Why do we sin (disobey)? Why do we disobey?

Remember Adam and Eve? God only gave them one command to obey. But they disobeyed. They sinned.  And this sin is what separated them from God.  Separated us from God. 

And that is how "sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned." (Romans 5:12)

So it's really not that big of a deal when I call myself a sinner. When I call Isabella a sinner.  Because that's what we are.  By nature, we are disobedient.  Sit in this one for a moment. 

I'd be pretty depressed reading this right now if I didn't know about this thing called grace. If I didn't know of God's passionate love for humanity. If I didn't know the one called Jesus. 

"For just as through the disobedience of the one man (Adam) the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of one man (Jesus) the many will be made righteous." (Romans 5:19)

And all "righteous" means is that we are "in right standing with God". By accepting Jesus; who He was and what He did for us, we are made righteous because He paid for all our sin (our disobedience) through his perfect sacrifice.  

That's it. That's really how simple it is. It's His gift to you with no strings attached. 

You just have to accept it!

Love, CC

What's the difference between Hope and Faith?

It was September of 2007 and Isabella's 4th birthday was coming up. We walked into Peekaboo Baby a wonderful children's store on Main Street, and the first thing she laid her eyes on was a Melissa and Doug doll set. 

"Mommy, can I have this, please, please, please?!?!!", she cried. 

"No, honey, not today. We're here to pick up a baby gift for a friend of mine", I responded. 

I did sneak back later that day without her and bought it for her birthday.  When she opened her gift, she was super excited, but not very surprised.  

I asked her why she wasn't surprised, and she told me that in the store, she just  knew I would buy it for her at some point. 

A couple of weeks later, as we lay in bed, she asked me:

"Mommy, what's the difference between Faith and Hope?"

I lay there, and my first instinct was to thank God for such a sweet moment. My next instinct was to ask for God to help me respond. 

I asked her if she remembered when we stopped in at Peekaboo Baby. I asked her if she remembered the feeling of just knowing without any doubt that she would somehow end up with the doll set. I asked her if she remembered the difference between hoping she would get the doll set, and knowing she would get the doll set. 

And that's the difference between Faith and Hope. I can put my hope in people, in circumstances, and in my ability to perform. But I know that all of these will fail me at some point.  I know this because all have failed me at some point in the past. 

But in trying and troubling times, even at my darkest hour, He has not failed me.  There has always been a rainbow, after the darkest of storms. And placing my Faith in Jesus is what has carried me through, not my hope that things would turn out okay. Because hope means I'm not sure if things will turn out okay. But Faith is knowing that they will. 

Placing my trust in my Faith in Jesus, in his perfect sacrifice to cover my shortcomings; my Faith in the perfect God of the universe who created me and loved me so much He sacrificed his only Son for me, and my Faith in the Holy Spirit who has proven to me over and over again that his gentle leading helps me live life best, is infallible. 

I thought about why Isabella was so sure I would get her the doll set.  This is what i came up with:

See, she knows me intimately. She knows my character, my great love for her, my desire to give to her, especially when she doesn't whine and disobey.  She lives with me. She lives within the boundaries that I set for her, knowing that I only set the boundaries to protect her and bless her, not to constrain her or keep her from anything good in life. 

She knew me well enough to know I would give her the desire of her heart, if not at that very minute in the store, at some point in the future.

Her Faith in me comes from knowing me. 

My Faith in Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit comes from knowing Him. 

So I live now knowing that it's not my responsibility to "save" people.  But I so desperately want for my friends and loved ones to know how much they are loved by God, and what He did for them, and what He continues to want to do in them and for them. 

And this is why I write:  Romans 9:14. 

Did you see where it says that "the same Lord is Lord over ALL and richly blesses ALL who call on him..." 

But how can one call on someone he doesn't believe in? 

And how does one believe in someone that he's never been told about?  

Stay with me.  I'm going to continue writing about this God I'm getting to know better. And my deepest desire is this:

1. for people to experience my Faith

2. for people to choose to trust Jesus for themselves

3. for people to choose to follow him and know him 

4. for people to then want to share this good news with their loved ones. 

Love, CC

Atheist Have It So Darn Easy

          Before becoming a Christian life seemed so much easier even though I was completely lost. I had no standards to try and live by nor did I worry about what was morally acceptable. I existed in this world with no purpose. Temptation wasn’t really a term to me; I felt no accountability for what I did. Now I’m not saying my life was meaningless. I had goals and plans but they were my ideas and not in line with the path God had for me. Crazy thing is when you become a believer and cross that faith line there are struggles and temptations everywhere you look. It felt like, once I accepted Christ, it disappointed Satan so much that he just wanted to punish me over and over again. There were numerous obstacles thrown in my path that made me want to question why it was so hard to be a Christian. Wasn’t life supposed to get easier?

          An old neighbor of mine, in her sixties, had a chat with me a few years back. We were discussing all the church activities my kids were signed up for and all the volunteering my husband and I did at our church. She had told me it was great to instill certain values in my children but she also told me how sad she was for me to have such false hopes. She said she feels bad for people that actually believe there is life after death. She continued to tell me how sad she feels when she sees people, such as Christians, waste so much time going to church, doing Bible studies, etc. This neighbor of mine was a good person, had a fortunate life and never seemed to have struggles. She believed in doing good things for others and raising your children with good morals, but she was absolutely convinced that there was no such thing as God. She calmly explained to me once we die its lights out there is nothing else. She said we live on this earth to live the best life we can and then it’s over and there is nothing. She said, “Call me an atheist, because that's exactly what I am.” She proudly said, “I’ve never given this God two seconds of my precious time.” Then she asked me to sit back and look at how great her life was. She said if there was such thing as God then why was her life so “blessed?”   

          I was very sad for her and tried my hardest to explain how much better life was once you found Christ. She gave me the talk about how she had been there, heard it all before and she was twice my age. She said there was nothing in this world that would persuade her to believe differently. I thought, yeah maybe not in this world but wait until you die you’re going to wish you were persuaded in the previous world. Now as someone who respects her elders I decided that we should agree to disagree. I told her I was throwing in the towel but God never would.

          After this particular chat I wondered why God had made this person’s life so great and easy but I found struggles and temptations all around me. I wasn’t looking for them they were being thrown in my face. I just didn’t get it. Why can’t I have the easy life with no issues and just be able to do good and never have stress or worries. It came clear to me one time after talking to my brother about atheism. Even though atheist don’t believe in God or Satan there is no denying that once they die they are either spending eternity in hell or eternity in heaven. The problem is atheist do not believe in accepting Christ and therefor they will be separated from God for eternity once they die. That is exactly what Satan wants. It isn’t God making life easy on her; He is trying everything to get through her front door. Its Satan making life easier on her, he isn’t going to put obstacles in an atheist way. Satan isn’t going to throw temptations every which direction.  Satan doesn’t want her struggles to be so hard that she seeks Christ and turns to faith. Satan has no work to do on these individuals because the goal has already been met. Satan hates God so much that he doesn’t care if people don’t believe in him, he just cares that they are eternally separated from God.        

2 Thessalonians 1:9

~They will be punished with eternal destruction, forever separated from the Lord and from His glorious power.

Anxiety about the Future.

I woke up in a small panic the other morning.  I suddenly realized that Ty and I were in a place in our life where things were really going well.  For once in my life, there were no health issues, no broken relationships needing mending, no strife, no financial difficulties.  And although thankful, the reason for my panic was that I was also very comfortable and content.  I felt like I'd reached a lot of our goals we'd set for our life.  And my anxiety came from knowing that this can also be a very dangerous place to be.  For if we're not moving forward, we're slowing slipping backwards.

Now some would say that "comfortable and content" are great words to be able to describe your life.  And I agree to some extent. Ty and I have prayed about, and worked diligently to live the life we live today. 12 years ago, Ty and I wrote out lists showing what we wanted in life. We weren't Christ followers at the time, just two newly weds trying to figure out this thing called life.  And at the time I knew enough about goals to know that we needed to write them down.  I found the lists this afternoon, and thought I'd share:

"Only 3 percent of all people have goals and plans and write them down. 10 percent more have goals and plans, but keep them in their heads. The rest- 87 percent - drift through life without definite goals or plans. They do not know where they are going and others dictate to them... The 3 percent...accomplish from 50 to 100 times more during their life than the 10 percent who have goals and plans and merely keep them in their heads." - from Success the Glenn Bland Method. 

I asked Ty that morning, what our goals were for the next  5 years. He took a moment and responded: "To be closer to God". As his christian wife, I should've been thrilled with that response, but I wasn't.  I felt a little frustrated. I wanted him to give me a concrete answer... Something I felt we could physically work towards, achieve, and boast about as another  successful, tangible goal accomplished. As I shared with him how I felt about his answer, he calmly reminded me that the closer we get to God, the easier it'll be for us to see Him directing our paths.  And the closer we get to God, the more we listen and obey, the more fulfilling our life will be...  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). The closer we get to God, the more easily we'll be able to see, and hear, and act on His plans.

And although working on our relationship with God comes above all things, let me give you a couple of action steps that worked for us to help keep us on track.  A couple of steps that I feel Ty and I will be taking again in the near future.  

1.  We assessed our present situation.

2.  We determined what we wanted out of our life and what would measure whether we were happy (successful) or not.

3.  We sought advice from people who were in life where we wanted to be.

4.  We read books to expand our capacity for thinking and recognizing opportunities around us.

5.  We wrote down short term (1 year), mid term (2-5 years), and long term goals (10 years and beyond) for our life.

6. We prayed about the decisions we were making and made sure that as a couple, we were in agreement over all decisions we made for our life.

I'm thankful for Ty's response to my question.  So today, I will "Not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present my requests to God" (Philippians 4:6 NIV).

Being a Team Player

We always hear the stories of professional athletes that are given too much too fast. There are always stories of them becoming bankrupt, getting into legal troubles, etc. There are also numerous athletes that are wonderful role models that we admire and our children look up to. I always wonder though what these athletes are thinking when they make bad choices? I’m sure the majority of them believe they are above the law and rules don’t apply to them. I wonder if they ever stop to think what the consequences may be, who they might hurt or how they might affect their fan base and more importantly their team.

As a fan of NFL football I know it disappoints me greatly when one of my favorite teams, let alone one of my favorite players lets me down. Fans always want their team to do well and go all the way to the Super bowl. It’s all about bragging rights and knowing that your team made it all the way. To me, I truly don’t have much to lose other than a small side bet or some of my dignity when my team gets knocked out of the playoffs. Other than that I don’t really have much invested. However an NFL player makes this a career. The ultimate goal day in and day out is to be the world champions at the end of the season. All the tough workouts, crazy travel schedules and brutal beatings received continuously from training camp to the end of the season are a huge sacrifice to any one person. It’s exciting when your team is not only considered one of the top teams in the NFL but also the team with the best chance of going to the Super bowl. What happens though, when one player selfishly decides not to be a team player? I couldn’t imagine being on a team knowing that one of my teammates does not have that same desire and goals.

Being a former teacher I couldn’t fathom letting my team down by not obeying rules, disregarding the consequences and continually finding more trouble. I’d be letting my school, team and students down. No different than an NFL player letting the organization, team and fans down. I always wanted to have the best and most improved classroom, I was definitely a team player and the ultimate goal was having a successful school that earned recognition.

It baffles my mind when a standout player like Von Miller (Denver Bronco) has continuous run-ins with the law and flagrantly disobeys the rules and court. Last year he was a candidate for Defensive Player of the Year and this year his team has the talent and opportunity to go to the Super bowl. What is he thinking not being a team player? How can one man be so selfish to let his team down? I’ve concluded at this time his ultimate goal is not the same as his teammates. His current desire is not to play in the NFL to win championships but to play in the NFL for none other than money. My hope is he will turn this all around and with a six game suspension have time to think about his future. Hopefully he considers what he is doing to the organization, his team and the fans. How amazing would it be if he completely changed his act and became one of the good role models? I would love to be able to wear my Von Miller jersey with pride once again. Yes I’ll be praying for him.   

Don't Judge others. Love others.

If you really think about it, we make judgments every day.  

Sadly enough, I've judged others negatively based on the way they carry on a conversation with me, whether they look me in the eye or not, whether or not they respond to my text or Facebook message, and how quickly they do it.

I've judged people that don't smile at me (when I think they should have) or don't greet me the way I think they should greet me. I've judged people based on the comments they make, and the tone in their voice.  I've judged people when they didn't included me in their lives (when I think they should have). I've judged people who joined sororities or country clubs.  I've been a hater. And a lot of the judgment was due to my poor self-image and my jealousy you'd never have heard me own up to. 

Until now. I'm not proud of any of this. But I can be transparent with you today because there is victory where there once wasn't. I promise you. I'm not a hater anymore. 

Before today, when I became a Christian, for a while there, I became more judgmental. I thought I had a reason to judge... All in the name of Jesus.  

They drink... can't hang out with them!  Jesus wouldn't approve!  They swear.  My holy ears can't listen to that!  Jesus wouldn't approve!  They spend their money foolishly... They need to tithe!  Jesus wouldn't approve of their purchases!  Those people have too much fun...they spend all their time on the golf course...They should volunteer more! They should go to church instead of the golf course on Sunday morning. Jesus wouldn't approve of their use of the time God gave them!

Wrong. So Wrong. 

Seriously, how wrong was I? Who am I to judge anyone?  John Bradford's quote... "There but for the grace of God, go I", sums it up for me.  In my defense I thought I was being an ambassador of Christ by following a list of "do's" and "don'ts". 

I missed it. Totally missed the point. 

Because by doing this, I alienated people, judged people, and neglected to love others where they were at and show them the grace God had shown me.  He's teaching me lately to "not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged..." (Matthew 7:1 NIV).  Instead of judging someone based on first impressions or outward appearance, I'm now trying to really get to know people, and meet them where they're at instead of jumping to my own conclusions. 

I've came to the realization recently that it's easy for me to make judgments about people and situations when I'm taken out of my comfort zone. It's my human nature to make judgments on the unfamiliar. 

So now, instead of judging and jumping to my own conclusion, I try to remember:

Maybe she doesn't smile at me, because she thinks I won't smile back.  Maybe that girl's really shy, and doesn't really know what to say to me, so it's hard for her to look me in the eye. Maybe she was really busy with her own family and work, so she couldn't reply to my text or Facebook message quickly. Maybe she didn't even get it!  Maybe that girl snapped at me a little but it wasn't necessarily directed towards me...she may have just had a really tough day or received some bad news.

I can have faith, I can give to the poor. I can volunteer a ton.  I can tithe. I can pray unceasingly. I can fast. But without love, I am an ineffective Christian.  

When I judge, I am not practicing love. 

"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always "me first", Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end" (1 Corinthians 13:3-7 MSG)

So instead of spending time criticizing and judging I'm asking God to help me spend more time praying and loving. 

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1John 4:8 NIV).  I want to know God. Maybe loving others is one way of getting to know God better. 

Riding In Cars With Boys

          Is it appropriate to be married and ride alone in a car with someone of the opposite sex? This has come up a handful of time the past few months with my husband and me. I don’t have a clear cut answer on this topic; I definitely think every situation is different. Awkward as it may be I believe it’s an important discussion a husband and wife should have together. No matter how much you trust each other or the person of the opposite sex, it comes down to how it may be perceived by others and most of all your spouse.      

          The situation has come up numerous times for us recently. One day after work my husband was asked by a female coworker if she could get a ride because her car was being fixed. She lives in our neighborhood and he felt obligated to give her a ride. But after he gave her the ride he felt nothing but guilt because he couldn’t get ahold of me to ask permission; he tried several times. I’ve never met this other person but I really gave it no thought. I actually believed he was being a Good Samaritan. However, he expressed to me that at the time he didn’t think it was that big of a deal either, but then he put himself in my shoes and realized he would be consumed with jealousy.  I truly could care less but I do get how he felt. If I were to do that it may make my husband feel demasculinized. Men are usually looked at as the ones helping a damsel in distress where we women tend to be weary giving men rides because it’s awkward being the woman helping the man. At least that’s what I think.

          Awkwardly enough this summer there were two situations where I was with male neighbors in the car. One time was when I gave Tara’s husband Dave a ride to the pool because they were down one car. The other time I needed a ride to a tee ball game and CC’s husband Ty had to give me a ride. Both times both our children were there. So with a mess of kids in the car I don’t think the situation looked bad. I’m also used to having conversation with guys because I enjoy talking football, fishing, etc. Was it a little awkward, maybe a little but not so much that I felt guilt like my husband did. Plus, other than my husband and brother, the two men I trust more than any other men are Dave and Ty.  Well once again he was approached with an awkward situation at work. He was to travel alone to Germany with another female. This was a serious trip for him but for her it was only for experience. He was so consumed with guilt that he struggled asking me permission. Once again I didn’t understand the guilt because I felt like since it was work-related it shouldn’t be a big deal. He again expressed how he would feel if it was me and I appreciated that about my husband. We discussed numerous options such as taking another male coworker, changing the dates, etc. In conclusion we decided he would pay for his own rental car out of his pocket and they could ride separately to the airport. As for being on the same plane and in the same hotel there is not much you can do. He would have to leave everything to his own discretion. Funny enough his trip was pushed up and he went alone.

          So again I ask is it appropriate to be married and ride alone in a car with someone of the opposite sex? Probably not, but it really comes down to communication with your spouse and the particular situation. The thing I stress is discussing it in your marriage so it doesn’t ever become an issue. I am so thankful that my husband took my feelings into consideration when confronted with an awkward situation. It makes me proud to know that I am always on his mind.

 

 

 

               

Skittles

I looked over, and there was my 4 year old, eyes tightly closed, little palms gripping the small skittles bag. She was whispering something that I couldn't hear, over and over again. I watched as she pulled a skittle out, and listened as she squealed with delight. 

"It worked, it worked! It really worked!" 

"What worked, honey?" I asked. 

"Mommy, I speaked (yes, speaked... not a typo) that I would get a red skittle, and when I pulled one out, it was a red skittle!!!!", Isabella exclaimed. 

From an early age we taught Isabella the power of her words.  Replace "I can't" with "How can I". Or focus and talk about  where we are going in life, and what our goals are, instead of focusing and talking about past failures. We taught them that God spoke our world into existence... Literally. "Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness....God spoke: "Light!" And light appeared." Genesis 1 (MSG).  And as we are created in God's image, we also have great power through the words that we speak. 

The other day Cooper was shooting baskets, and I shouted out "you can!" And before I could finish my sentence he finished it for me..."do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"  Okay. So it didn't sound as smooth as that, but it's what he was trying to say. Fact is, I speak specific scripture over my kids all the time, and try to teach them the difference between encouraging and uplifting speech versus speech that tears down and destroys. And God blesses me when he affirms to me through these moments that these little ears are truly listening.  

And my goal with all of this? The things we say out loud, the things we say to ourselves, and the words spoken over us by those closest to us shape our self-image. I believe my kids hear my voice even when I'm not around. I believe I have that much influence over them.  And if I'm not shaping a positive perception of themselves and their future, who will?  And if they grasp the power of their speech at an early age, it can only help them as adults. 

Love, C. 

The Wrong Grip

A couple of weeks ago I hit the driving range, and got a blister on my pointer finger.  Even with the blister, I continued playing.  I bandaged it up, and adjusted my grip so that there'd be no pressure on the blister.  Of course, I knew that my grip was now wrong...everything about it felt wrong, but my new found love for golf wouldn't allow me to stop playing, even if I was forming bad habits.

I played this way for a couple of weeks, with the wrong grip, and without noticing it, the grip started to feel right.  But I started playing horribly.  Whereas before, I could hit the ball and not embarrass myself, now I was topping it, missing it, and my swing was choppy.  I switched my stance, adjusted my arms, gave myself pep talks, telling myself it was just a phase.

On Labor Day, Ty and I went out to play a round.  By the 5th hole, we were arguing a little because we were both playing so badly.  We both recognized that something was wrong, and we couldn't continue playing and expect different results.

We decided to cut out on the last couple of holes, and hit the driving range to determine what was wrong, and see if we could fix it.  Ty watched me hitting golf balls, and asked to see my grip.  I argued that there was nothing wrong with it.  He adjusted my grip, and it felt so unnatural, but I knew that he was right. A couple more practice swings with my "new" old (correct) grip, and I was good to go.

Isn't that how it is with sin?  Whatever the sin may be, God has wired you to recognize it.  But when we continue to ignore God's whisper, that sin starts feeling right.  Kind of like the wrong grip started feeling right.  Maybe you have a new group of friends you've been hanging out with, and something told you they weren't the best influences.  Over time, keep hanging out with them, those bad influences will feel right.  Or maybe you started coming in late to work, thinking it wasn't that big a deal, when in all reality, it's the little things that can make the difference in the big promotion.  The wrong habits... all of a sudden don't feel so wrong anymore.

Thankfully I listened to Tyler when he gently corrected my wrong grip.  Same with sin.  I'm thankful to have people in my corner that I've given permission to speak into my life to gently correct me with Truth if sin is overtaking me.  Living this life alone is too hard, and the responsibility is too great.  Find others to journey with you on this beautiful life God gave us.

THE PERFECT FOOTBALL TEAM

Ephesians 6:1-4

          The days have finally counted down and the football season is here. Those of you that know me understand that I’m obsessed with football. Football has always been a passion of mine. I grew up watching it with my family and loved it. Every Sunday after church we would have food and friends over for the game. Once in a while it was just my family and that was wonderful too. We not only enjoyed watching games but we enjoyed being together. I definitely see that with my family. It’s almost like a tradition I can now share with them. Every Sunday after church we huddle together and watch football. Even though we don’t agree on teams we all enjoy being together and rooting our favorite team on.

          My husband and I also enjoy adding to our football addiction by playing fantasy football. We are in a number of leagues with friends and family. This is where you pick players of certain positions from different teams; this makes your fantasy football team for the season. For the most part I usually draft a pretty decent team. That started to make me think about the team I have at home. It’s great to have a passion or hobby but in all seriousness one of the most important things to me is the team I’m raising at home. God hand-picked quite the team when He considered our family. Over the three day weekend we spent a great deal of time cleaning the house. Each child went through his/her rooms and cleaned it from top to bottom. Numerous other chores followed such as yard work, cleaning carpets, getting rid of summer clothes, etc. The hard work was well received by each child. They were pleased with the outcome and sense of accomplishment. The surprising thing to me was the lack of complaining. Other than contemplating throwing certain toys away or whether a favorite outfit still fit the complaining was literally non-existent. The respect and commitment I endured was very pleasing. This absolutely must be a result of how my husband and I are raising our children. They understand hard work leads to a reward.
    
          Too many times I have seen parents become push overs. From giving into their children’s tantrums or trying to be the cool parent to remaining hands off and letting the iPad or television raise their kids. That has unfortunately become the norm. Teaching children responsibility and respect is not a priority anymore. Since when did our children become in charge of our households?

          Since…uh, NEVER in this household. I will not hesitate for a moment when it comes to instilling a strong work ethic in my children. Nor will I tolerate disrespect. Trust me I have some of the busiest and most active kids there are but there is always time for family chores and lessons on respect. Being a faithful family you really need to consider how you run your team. In our family Christ is our coach, my husband and I are His captains and our children make up the rest of our team. My husband and I are the leaders of the team as we set the challenging boundaries (sidelines) for our children to work within and from that they build a solid foundation of respect and honor. They work hard and do as we say because they know in the end it’s a win for themselves and more importantly, for the team. Christ will always be in charge of the play calling in our family and we will respond to Him with a touchdown every single time.

Golfing makes me Drink, Swear, and Lose my Salvation

What began as walking over to my neighbor Jamie's to retrieve my dog and child, has become a daily habit I look forward to every morning.  She began setting out a lawn chair next to hers, a silent invitation to sit and be still for a moment.  What a beautiful gesture on her part, one I won't easily forget.  As our elementary age kids scurried onto the school bus, we watched the remaining toddlers, preschoolers, and puppies play in the driveway taking 10 minutes or so to drink our morning drinks and enjoy each other's company.  What a simple way God has of making our relationships flourish when we continue being intentional.  

Mandy just moved into the neighborhood a couple of weeks ago.  She started joining us a couple of mornings ago, and my spirit tells me she's one of those girls I can become fast friends with.  I can tell she loves Jesus with all her heart, and this quickly makes us sisters, no matter what way you put it.  As we chatted, I asked her if she would be joining her husband and us at a golfing event in a couple of weeks.  Her sweet, witty response is one I'll never forget... "Golfing makes me drink, swear, and lose my salvation".  Ha!  So Adorable!  I've just met Mandy, yet her dry sense of humor makes me laugh and reminds me not to take myself too seriously.

Last Friday night, we played in a Twilight golf outing with another couple we're getting to know better through our new hobby.  YES, we had a couple of drinks.  YES, I caught myself wanting to swear out loud a couple of times.  And I'm pretty sure I directed some choice words at my girlfriend's club.  But NO, I can't lose my salvation.  I know that no matter what, my salvation is secure.  I am a sinner, saved by grace, and there is nothing I can do that can separate me from God, as long as I continue to believe, continue to be obedient, and continue to confess and repent when I screw up.  "For if I claim to be without sin, I deceive myself, and the truth is not in me.  If I confess my sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  (1John 1:8-9).

Yes, I love Jesus.  Yes, I want to follow his ways with all my heart.  Yes, I try to honor him with all my ways and want to live in such a way that he would be so proud of me.  But no, I'm not perfect, and realize I never will be.  And He knows this too.  And I'm so glad that I discovered that He loves me no matter what, He accepts me exactly where I'm at, and He sees where I'm going with every choice I make to step closer to Him.

Just know that if I can admit my need for Jesus, even with all the junk in my life, trust me, it would be just as easy for you to.  Remember, God made you, loves you, and  WANTS you, exactly as you are.

Take the first step.  Reach out and admit your need for Him, someone bigger than yourself.  I promise, it'll be the best first step you'll ever take!

Love, C.